HEAL | GROW | AWAKEN | THRIVE
IFS Therapy and Inner Child Healing Online
Don’t become your young parts. Be there for them.
IFS therapy and inner child healing
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a structured way of understanding the different parts of ourselves, including those that carry emotional wounds and those that try to protect us from feeling that pain again. Inner child healing, also called inner child work, is closely related: the parts we experience are usually younger aspects of our consciousness, shaped by our earlier experiences.
I use IFS and inner child work together to help you understand these parts, recognise the roles they play and develop a different relationship with them. Rather than suppressing them or getting caught up in their fears and feelings, you learn to meet them from the awareness and greater capacity of your adult self.
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You can't change what happened, but you can change how you relate to it, and that changes everything.
Why the same patterns keep repeating
We don’t have just one inner child, but many. Some carry emotional wounds, distress, unmet needs and feelings of overwhelm. Others carry the fears, protective patterns and coping strategies that developed to protect us from experiencing that pain again. They formed when you had fewer resources to understand and manage difficult experiences, and together they influence how you think, feel and respond as an adult, often without you realising.
That’s why understanding a pattern doesn’t always change it. You can know exactly where a reaction comes from and still find yourself caught up in it, because when a younger part is activated, its fears and feelings can become so compelling that it’s hard to see the situation from your present-day perspective.
The way forward
The aim isn’t to suppress your feelings, but to bring your adult awareness back into the driving seat. Rather than being swept up in a younger part’s fear and helplessness, you learn to stay present with them, bringing the steadiness, perspective and resources you have as an adult.
As you meet these parts with present-moment awareness, they can begin to register that life is different now, and your nervous system gradually recalibrates from the past to the present. Over time, they feel safer, reconnect with your adult self and reintegrate into a greater sense of wholeness. Don’t become your younger parts. Be there for them.
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Even the parts of you that hold you back are trying to protect you. They just haven’t realised you’re no longer living in the past.
Who you are beneath your parts
Beneath your parts is something that doesn’t need healing: a calm, clear, compassionate presence that has never been damaged. IFS calls it the Self. I think of it as your essential self, the awareness you are beneath your thoughts, emotions and roles.
As your parts begin to trust you, they step back, and this presence becomes easier to feel. You aren’t only healing old wounds. You’re discovering who has been there all along and what it’s like to live from it. That’s why I bring IFS together with spiritual inquiry. The healing makes room for the awakening, and the awakening gives the healing its direction.
How IFS therapy and inner child work unfold online
This work is very effective online, via Zoom. Working from your own familiar, private space may help you feel more comfortable as we explore difficult emotions and younger parts of yourself.
We often begin by getting to know the protective parts that are afraid of what might happen if we approach the younger parts carrying emotional wounds. These protectors developed to stop you being overwhelmed again, so they need reassurance that nothing will be forced. As they begin to trust the process, we gradually approach the underlying pain, with your adult self present to offer the understanding, steadiness and support that may have been missing at the time. Throughout, we develop your capacity to recognise when you’re triggered, stay present with difficult feelings and build a more supportive relationship with the different parts of yourself. We go at a pace your system can manage. Nothing is forced, and you remain in control.
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Your inner child doesn’t need fixing. It needs to be heard, and to know you’re finally there.
What it can help with
People often come to IFS therapy or inner child healing when they notice strong emotional reactions that feel bigger than the situation, a harsh inner critic or a persistent sense of not being good enough. You may struggle with anxiety, people-pleasing or setting boundaries, find yourself shutting down or becoming emotionally overwhelmed in relationships, or keep repeating familiar relationship patterns despite your insight and efforts to change.
These patterns may have developed for understandable reasons, but they don’t have to keep defining your experience decades later. This work helps you explore what lies beneath them and develop a different relationship with the feelings, beliefs and protective strategies involved.
Who IFS therapy is for
IFS therapy suits people who are ready to go beyond conceptual understanding and explore what's underneath their familiar patterns and reactions. You don't need to have a strong mind–body connection or be particularly good at recognising bodily sensations. This work can begin simply by visualising a younger part of yourself and becoming curious about what it feels, fears and needs.
I'm level 2 trained in Internal Family Systems (IFS), which provides a structured way of understanding the different parts of ourselves, including those that carry emotional wounds and those that try to protect us from experiencing that pain again. We can work with these parts through visualisation and inner dialogue, and incorporate somatic awareness when it adds value. You can learn more in my articles on Internal Family Systems, Internal Family Systems Therapy and Raising Your Level of Consciousness with IFS.
The work asks for curiosity, a willingness to explore and commitment over time, rather than a quick fix. My approach is trauma-informed, and we work at a pace that respects your capacity to explore difficult experiences without becoming overwhelmed. We begin wherever you are, taking time to build trust and work with the protective parts of you that may be wary of what lies beneath the surface.
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The reactions that feel too big for today's situation begin to make sense when you understand what they were protecting you from.
Ready to work together?
You don’t need to have everything figured out or know exactly what needs to change. You simply need to sense that something isn’t quite as you’d like it, or that there’s more to who you are, and be open to exploring it. Inner work requires a willingness to look honestly at yourself, take ownership of your healing, growth and awakening, and engage with the process between sessions as well as during them. This is long-term work that requires commitment, rather than a quick fix or someone to make everything better for you.
I'm based in Grantham, England, and work exclusively online via Zoom with clients throughout the UK and around the world. Whether you're ready to begin or simply curious about what's possible, there are a few ways to take the next step:
- Free Chat (30 minutes on Zoom): To talk through what's going on, what you'd like to change, and whether this work is right for you. There's no pressure to book any sessions afterwards.
- Discovery Package (5 x 60-minute Zoom Session): To discover more about yourself, understand what holds you down, and begin to find a way forward. A meaningful experience of the work, with no obligation to go further.
- Deepening Package (10 x 60-minute Zoom sessions): To deepen your understanding, explore what lies beneath your patterns, and work towards lasting change. Deep work takes time, so more than one package is often needed.
All packages are paid in full at the time of booking, and sessions must be used within 100 days (Discovery) or 200 days (Deepening). Please read my Policies and Terms & Conditions before booking. After your first Discovery package, you're free to stop or book another, or you can save some money by booking a Deepening package.
What is IFS therapy?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy is a way of working with the different parts of ourselves. It recognises that we have wounded parts, which carry old pain, and protective parts, which developed to keep us from feeling it. In sessions, we get to know these parts, understand what they need and help them trust your adult self to lead, so old patterns can loosen and you feel more whole.
What is inner child work?
Inner child work is a way of getting to know and supporting the younger parts of you that may still carry feelings, beliefs and fears from earlier experiences. Rather than analysing them from a distance, you learn to relate to them directly from your adult self, bringing the understanding, compassion and resources you have today. This is often described as inner child healing.
Do I need to be good at visualising?
No. Many people picture their parts, but others sense them as a feeling, a voice or simply a knowing. We work with whatever comes naturally to you.
Do I need to remember my childhood for this to work?
No. You don't need clear memories or a detailed story about your childhood. We can begin with a present-day feeling, a bodily sensation or a recurring reaction and explore what's happening for you now. Relevant memories or connections may emerge naturally, but we don't need to recover or revisit specific events for the work to be useful.
Will I have to relive painful experiences?
No. The work isn't about reliving the past or deliberately making yourself experience distress. It's about learning to stay present with the feelings of a younger part while remaining connected to your adult self and the present moment. We work carefully, at a pace you can manage, and you can pause or change direction whenever you need to.
How is this different from talking therapy?
Talking therapy can help you understand what happened, why you respond as you do and how your patterns developed. Inner child and parts work add a more experiential dimension by helping you explore your relationship with the feelings, fears and protective responses that are still active in your life. Rather than only understanding these patterns intellectually, you learn to meet them with greater awareness and support. The work can include conversation, but also bodily awareness, emotional experience and present-moment attention.
Is inner child work online as effective as in person?
Yes. Online work is an effective way to explore younger parts and emotional patterns. Sessions take place on Zoom, allowing you to work from a familiar, private space while I guide you in paying attention to your experience. We can notice changes in your feelings and bodily responses, explore what emerges and adjust the process as needed. Whether online work is suitable depends on your individual circumstances, which we can discuss during a free chat.
How many sessions will I need?
That varies because everyone's history, patterns and pace are different. You may begin to notice shifts within a few sessions, while more deeply established patterns can take several months to explore and change. I offer five-session packages, with sessions normally taking place weekly. This provides continuity for the work while leaving you free to decide how long you want to continue. Deeper work asks for commitment, but there is no prescribed endpoint.